Are women “asking for it” when we distract males with our short skirts?

Sexuality is a term that encompass many areas, and we hope to explore this interesting topic in the segment: SEX-uality.

Definition of Sexuality (Sexuality Resource Centre for Parents)

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In our patriarchal society where women’s dressing, bodies, and actions are constantly scrutinized and critiqued for either being too “oppressive” or too “slutty”, men have also been using their power to dictate women as a whole, which results in society’s painstaking scrutiny and discussion towards the topic of “indecency” in women – that supposedly perpetuates the ironically “indecent” behaviour of men towards us.

Being asked to wear longer skirts to protect ourselves.

Being asked to not stay out late at night to protect ourselves.

Being asked to not show our sexuality to protect ourselves.

Being asked to not have physical intimacy with a guy if we are unsure if we want to have sex to protect ourselves.

Being asked to not drink to protect ourselves.

No. Saying my skirt length is “provocative”, which led you to rape me is in no way justifiable. 

No. Me staying out late at night does not give you the right to molest me.

No. Showing my sexuality does not me I have to accept your unwanted advances.

No. Being physically intimate with you does not mean you can disrespect my consent when I change my mind, and say no to penetration.

No. My lack of clarity does not mean you can touch my body without asking for my permission.

The problem is not us,  women. The problem is how society is making women accountable for men’s immoral behavior, which lead to men themselves continuing to justify their acts, and pinning the blame on none other than us, women.

“It’s the way she dress. It’s the way she acted. She should not have done this and that if she did not want me to….”

In simpler words, men have no right to invade or disrespect the physical privacy of women without out permission, regardless of how we dress or act. And they very well know that. Consent is simple. Black and white. Mutual consent. No means No. Yes means Yes.

No one shouts that men are “asking for it” when they dress and express out their sexuality in their own ways. Because matter-of-factly, they don’t. We as women have no right to put the blame on their dressing and actions, when we do immoral things to them against their will.

Likewise, when we as women choose to dress and express our sexuality in our own ways, we should never be perceived as “asking for it” from men. Please do not say that we dress in a “provocative” manner that compels you to outrage our modesty, or rape us. Because, such a mindset only further perpetuates the rationalisations and reasons men use to justify their unacceptable behaviours.

Don’t grow a generation of young girls or women who hate themselves, or blame themselves when men do nasty things to them.

How we act and dress is one thing. How others choose to look at, and treat us is another. Both are mutually exclusive.

And a question to reflect on – why is society so obsessed with discussing on how women should dress or act, when men themselves are not even given that level of extensive scrutiny?

The answer is simply because we live in a patriarchal society. As such, it’s time for men to do the changing, instead of controlling. Regardless of our gender, let’s take responsibility for our own behaviours instead of putting the blame on the opposite sex.

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Other SEX-uality Posts

Unheard Voices: The memoir of a Singaporean transgender sex worker‏

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Were we gender neutral before the labels of male, female, straight, LGBT?

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Singapore’s version: The “hype” over gender equality and feminism.”

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She’s a slut! She shouldn’t cover herself up so much!

Beautiful Eyes

 Pre-marital sex is unethical and shameful. Virginity is pure virtue.

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PARENT’S HORRID TABOO TOPICS OF “MASTURBATION”“PENIS””SEX”“VAGINA”

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I’m a woman that don’t identify myself as feminist, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

1Gender norms: Are the terms – Femininity and Masculinity socially constructed?

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 What the hell is the difference btw Sexual – empowerment v.s. objectification?

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Relevant articles on this issue:

What Is Rape Culture?

“We Think Victims Deserve Our Sympathy Only If They’re Well-Behaved”

Kim Kardashian Wrote An Inspiring Post About Slut-Shaming

German school prohibits revealing clothing

UK school bans ‘distracting’ skirts

These Teens Used Actual Scarlet Letters As A Clever Way To Protest Their School’s Sexist Dress Code

Young Women Are Protesting Against Dress Codes With #IAmMoreThanaDistraction

Missouri Lawmakers Think Interns Need A Dress Code So They’re Less “Distracting”

A Girl Was Sent Home From High School For An Exposed Collarbone

Main image credit: Girls sent home from school over short skirts (thetimes.co.uk)

 

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